The Ramblings of a Somewhat Unstable Mind

Storage Wars and Other Aggravating Reality Shows

Dave Hestor is the worst “person” on “reality TV”, and gives the genre a worse name than June Bear on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! I would rather watch Melissa McCarthy (Mike and Molly) naked and making out with a real pig than to watch Dave Hestor on TV – he just triggers my gag reflex, which in turn triggers my trigger finger on the TV remote!

WHat does DH do?

Aggravate me. Piss me off. Make me feel like I want to jump through that LCD TV and into the yards of the Storage Wars. Heck, I even dream about strangling the guy! Now, if you have ever seen Storage Wars even once, you most likely know who I am talking typing about. Yuuup! That’s Dave Hester, the single most conceited, aggravating person in all of “reality” television. In reality, he’s the only one who thinks that he is as good as he thinks he is. He overpays for lockers and then, afterwards, brags about outsmarting his competition.

What most viewers hope to see Dave Hester the Pester get…

After overpaying for a locker, his normal response is “Did they really think that they could beat me?”. He also gets under people’s skin by making hard working, young entrepreneurs over pay for the lockers that they want by bidding against them, even though he has no intentions at all of buying it. Then he brags about making them spoend too much money on the locker! I do love it, though, when the table is turned on him and he ends up having to buy the locker he didn’t want, and loses a bundle!

Dave Hestor in reality

I do admit to watching “Storage Wars”, and that the main reason I watch is that I hope to see Dave overpay for a locker that is full of nothing but garbage, and to see the other “stars” of the show find extremely valuable things in lockers that he bid them up on. After leaving a site without buying any lockers, he will claim to the cameraman “even though I didn’t buy any lockers, I made the others overpay for their lockers. Mission accomplished.” Now, that is a person (I just can’t force myself to call this conceited little piggy a man, and yet “person” seems above his station as well) that the show’s producers feel deserves to be a main player in the show. He has a new, big 5th wheeler with his name and “Yuuup!” in huge letters on the side. He just screams “Kill me, I deserve it!”

Zeus finally gets fed up with yuuup

When most people hear that grinding, overbearing “Yuuup!” squeal out of his piggy, piggitty pig mouth attached to his no-neck noggin, they want to strangle him until he squeals like the piggy that he is.He even looks like that guy on “Deliverance” that was ‘dated’ by some local redneck sodomites. All of the other locker bidders bid on the lockers in normal ways (yes, even Barry is rather normal in his extravagant ways), but Dave has to wait until the very last possible second to squeal his bid out with his overbearing “Yuuup!” Kill me now!

And, one new update! DH is now suing A&E, the network that produces and airs the show, for unfair treatment – he is actually implying that the network was “out to get him” and was “setting high-end products in lockers that other buyers ended up buying… what a dolt!

Are there any shows with worse stars people idiots?

Aside from “Toddlers and Tiaras”, where normally overweight and rather homely well, frighteningly ugly parents dote over their pampered, spoiled children while dressing them up and making them act like street walking, drug addicted prostitutes, most reality TV shows are based on people beating other people in popularity and physical challenges. There’s just something innately wrong with 4-year old girls strutting their stuff, all made up like 20-year old failed beauty queens during $5 lap dance nite at the Jiggly Room, wiggling their bottoms and blowing kisses to the judges. It’s most obvious that it’s the wrong kind of judges on this show; these parents should be brought up in front of courts of law, showing why they deserve to keep their kids. And, the show’s producers should be brought up on charges of promoting kiddie porn. That’s just my 7 cents worth (adjusting for inflation). Oh – and add the fact there there are 20+ year old “beauty queens” who enter these contests against the 3 month old to 8 year old contestants! In one episode, she actually won the overall crown and $2,500 cash! Some people just don’t have any class in their bodies/souls/tiny-little-brains!

Dog! The Booty Hunter

Just before the BAU of the FBI storms the stage…

Now, we skip to Dog, the big bad dog, and his big, bad wife. There’s not much bad to say here, other than why do people, and herself as well, think that his wife is even remotely attractive? Little Lisa is rather cute, but Beth is, well, Beth.

Why do people watch “Big Brother”, and, more to the point, subscribe to their live feed? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. No, really, it’s mostly teenaged and elderly men hoping to see the attractive, young girls having sex with the muscle bound young guys on the show, and to catch the girls changing and showering. It just can’t be for the artistic content! Pornography I could understand, but other than the contestant’s families, who in the world pays premium fees to be able to watch Big Brother 24/7 ? If you do happen to subscribe yet know nobody on the show, my sincerest apologies to your parents cum landlords cum restraining order holders.

Is Reality TV Real?

Reality TV; the only real reality is that most people who watch these shows are either really lonely, or just want to see people fail. Admittedly, I may fall into both categories, but mostly I just want to see someone punch Dave Hester in the face and knock some of that overbearing conceitedness out of him. I want to see someone eat his dead, burnt body (my thanks to Arlo Guthrie for that one!). You may have guessed he gets under my skin?

As far as “Storage Wars” goes, it’s not a bad way to waste a half-hour when you just can’t take another “Two and a Half Men” rerun. But, why in the world are there so many people in the storage locker yards, when only five to six people are bidding on lockers? They just stand around, looking at the cameras! “Hey, ma! Lookit me! I’ma on thuh telervisjin!”

The majority of reality TV shows just make me want to gag. They aggravate people who have any sense of morality, and they make normal people want to turn into maniacal killers.

What’s wrong with TV these days?Why aren’t there more maniacal killers when you need them?

What’s wrong with people these days?

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Comments on: "Storage Wars and Other Aggravating Reality Shows" (19)

  1. Reality TV is an oxymoron. Hmmmm. Moron? Sure, they are all moronic. I don’t watch them but my wife does and I do catch a glimpse now and then.

    • That occasional glimpse should be enough! With new shows like “My Strange Obsession” coming on now, where people make love to cars and Mickey Mouse dolls to snorting baby powder or living in diapers (full grown, mid-30’s male) – they have finally found the line and jumped over it!

      Thanks for the visit!

  2. Thanks for the visit, John! Always a pleasure!

    Yeah, there’s more than enough people that watch them though that new ones pop up every few months. I’m just surprised there’s no Reality TV Channel as of yet!

  3. Okay Marc now you’re really asking for the controversies! You insult Dave on Storage Wars and I like watching to hear him say “yeeeep!” hehe
    Well written though, you have great emotion here.

  4. Anonymous said:

    Don’t watch it. I do enjoy American Pickers–I think that’s what it’s called–on History Channel. I love old junk. I am old junk, lol.

    • They have an American and a Canadian version of the pickers. You can also see old junk in the Storage Wars series and Pawn-A-Thon, Pawn Wars, etc etc etc… if you have a liking for anything these days you’re sure to find a show that features it!

      Thanks for the visit!

  5. That Anonymous person was me.

    • Hey Patti! I wish i would have read this comment first! Oh well, thanks for the double visit – if everyone did that, i would have twice as many views (i did that math without a calculator!!!)

      Thanks for the visits!

  6. Excuse my stupidity, but I can’t seem to find your sites rss feeds. Can you tell me where it is? Thanks.

  7. Julie Catherine said:

    Marc, I so agree with you! The more ‘reality tv’ they bring on, the less tv I watch! That kind of ‘reality’ I DON’T need! 😀

  8. Superbe ρoste, j’en parlerai plus tard avec mes potes

  9. Everything is very open with a precise explanation of the challenges.

    It was definitely informative. Your site is extremely helpful.
    Many thanks for sharing!

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