The Ramblings of a Somewhat Unstable Mind

Posts tagged ‘Business’

Today Only, Below Cost!

Stores advertise their wares for sale to the uneducated and idiotic amongst us who, upon being told that we should be driving a Toyota, go out and sell our Cadillac and buy a Prius. We head right out the door to buy those new Tampax that hold 3 times the normal amount of blue fluid. Now, I’ve dated what I figure to be more than my fair share of the fairer sex, but I’ve never seen anything blue. I’ve seen tempers blew, I’ve seen dynamite-like explosions of fury and jealousy, but never anything blue. But, again, people run out to buy cars because a guy drives on in a commercial, and 3 sexy, curvaceous blondes whistle at him when he drives by, his toupee flowing in the wind and The Foo Fighters blaring on his stereo.

What Tag-Line Pulls You In?

Does someone saying “Buy it today and we’ll pay the taxes” make you want to drop what you are doing, warm up the car and drive for an hour to get to Crazy Lou’s Discount Diamonds and expect to buy a flawless engagement ring? Saving a few dollars, the unsuspecting retailer buys what the store tells them is the best deal. The best deal is usually the very best deal that they can make that will fleece the most money out of said unsuspecting retailers.

All Prices Previously Increased Prior to Sale

One of the most common sales scams is the “BOGOHO” extension of the “BOGO” sale. The BOGOHO sale sees you buying one at full price to buy another one at half off the regular price. This means that it’s a 25% off sale, just an average sale for the average store. But they will advertise BOGOHO sales up the wazoo, and it works because people mistake it for a BOGO sale, where you buy one for the regular price and get one free, otherwise known as a half-off sale.

Now, why do so many people pay full retail prices when they go shopping? If you are in the market for a new, high-definition LED television with smart screen technology, you may just want to wait a week or two – it will show up for sale somewhere in town. If you’re willing to shop over the Internet for larger purchases, the sale prices can be online found instantaneously. Now, you don’t need to watch the ads on TV or click on ads that pepper websites, you can just type in what you are looking for and the country you live in, and you will be peppered with sales, end-of-line sales, going-out-of-business and foreclosure sales.

The Shopper’s Mantra

Every shopper who knows what they’re doing knows that you never pay retail, it’s just plain wrong. If a store can afford to have a 75% off sale on one weekend, then have everything back at full price the following week, then they are making a lot of money off of those retail price sales.  Because if a store can make a profit selling items for 75% off, then they have room to haggle.

That's the one from the TV ad!

Whatever happened to haggling? I can remember even haggling over the price of Levi’s Red Tab jeans at the local K-Mart store. You couldn’t do this with a sales clerk, but grab one of the many managers and you had yourself an instant sale – but no more! We need to get back to real retail, where the shopper’s mantra of “We won’t pay full price!” is heard echoing through the aisles.

The Meaning of All This?

People now have access to many shopping apps on their smart phones. You just scan the product’s bar code into your phone and it will tell you where it is on sale, where and how to get there from where you are. Show this to the sales clerk or the manager and ask for a price match. If they don’t give it to you, leave, and leave behind any other products that you may have had in your basket.

Smart phones have eliminated the need for automotive and hand-held GPS mapping and direction provisions systems, and even the need to do comparison shopping.

Video killed the radio king, and it seems that smart phones are now killing the dishonest store sales schemes.

Get a smart phone. Get the apps for shopping and travel. You will never pay retail again, and the savings will more than pay for the cost of the phone and the carrier contract monthly.

Food For Thought

While eating supper and the subsequent, required desert, I came across a seedless watermelon that you couldn’t take a decent sized bite without eating a dozen or more seeds. I do believe that manufacturers should be sued for false advertising every time someone opens one of those seedless watermelons and gets a major eyeful of seeds. And, about those miniature watermelons, also the seed-full seedless variety, should be under the auspices of the SPCMF (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Miniaturized Foods). So, who exactly should I sue?

If People Win Lawsuits for Walking Into Doors…

Why shouldn’t I be able to sue a food vendor, supplier and grower if what I purchased was not what was advertised? If left to their own devices, and never sued, these malicious food providers could soon be selling us fully hatched chicks as grade AAA eggs, and long past due-date hamburger meat as steak tartar. If sued for major punitive damages, loss of future income and a new-found fear of food, these malicious miscreants may just start providing us with seedless watermelons that have fewer, if not no seeds at all, and packages of fresh strawberries (trucked to Canada from Brazil) that have more that 1/3 of their contents not fully rotted.

Uhm, If You’re Not Going to Buy That…

A very scary thing happens in grocery stores, and you usually have to be there early in the day to see it happening. It happens in every major grocery store, and is one of the most gross aspects of the food supply chain. What could this be? Rampant disease spreading like wildfire! A gang of motorcycle grannies will paw through all of the fruits and vegetables, looking for something worth buying. They cough and sneeze, sometimes thinking to cover their mouths with their hands. They then reach into the fruits and berries, removing rotten or bad looking ones and replacing them with good pieces from other containers, closing the containers (when they can be bothered) for others to purchase their cast offs and their germs.

Home Cooking Delivered to Your Door!

If food’s delivered to your door, you are going to be sadly dejected when you see your delivered meal. The “Fresh Hamburger Platter” will be one of those frozen burgers with 20% “real meat and meat by-products”. It will most likely come with an old, dried out burger bun and a ratty tomato, wet and limp lettuce, and just enough onions, mustard, ketchup and relish to mask the taste of the food part of your dining experience.

And don’t forget that those “Fresh chickens, roasted right in the store” have been in the heated display case for at least 4 to 6 hours, and the bottoms of their containers normally have about a 1/4 of an inch of grease on their bottoms. All of that crispy, delicious chicken skin is all wet and stretchy by the time you serve it for supper.

Is There Any Recourse?

In the bigger grocery stores, you can actually complain to the fruits and vegetables supervisor or the store manager / assistant manager, and tell them the tale of the coughing, hacking gang of Hell’s Grannies. They will gladly go into the back and get you a package or two of the berries that are due to be placed on the shelves the following day. For seed-full seedless foods, the manager may look at you with a weird look on their face and call the looney bin, with nice, gently-used, pressed and clean white straight jacket in your future. Yeah! Free clothes!

Or, you could always grow, hunt and fish for your own food. But that takes a lot longer, and is a lot more expensive that buying the prefabricated foods from grocery stores. You have to drive to where the waters are clear and the fish are clean enough to eat, and where the buffalo roam. And, no, that’s not on the range.

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