The Ramblings of a Somewhat Unstable Mind

Posts tagged ‘Stephen King’

Successful Blogger or Silly Scammer?

I’m up already!

 

I have been alive for roughly 1.5 Billion seconds. That’s about 1/5th of a second for every person on the planet that I have been drawing breath. While sleeping on average six hours a day, that leaves me awake for over 300 Million seconds. You’d figure that I would have more than enough time during the day to take care of all of my new-found Internet infamy? Well, you’d be wrong. Not about the time, I’ve got lots of that; it’s about the infamy. I don’t want it, but I sure would like the money that comes along with it. So, with that in mind, I have to wonder if James Patterson (the #1 book seller in the world) or Stephen King (‘nough said) would like a ghost writer? Baring that, maybe you could have a few friends take a read of my blog posts, that would help!

The building blocks of all life

Scientists are aware of what approximately 5% of the human DNA model is used for. That leaves 95% of DNA that is now considered as “junk DNA” simply because they don’t know what it’s used for. It could be the complete model of human life, of awareness, of inter-spacial knowledge. With full use, you live eternally, never sick. Or maybe you get egg roll. Who knows?

More scientists believe that a great, alien race of Sumatrans salted the earth with mankind to be used as slave labor in the gold mines for which they had come to our little blue planet, third from the sun, in order to steal our natural resources. Well, if they gave us life, I guess that’s a fair trade off. Funny thing is that if you take the word “God” out of the earlier Bibles and replace that with “Summatran” you get an eerily similar accounting.

What does this mean? Are we only using 5% of our overall potential? Imagine if we were to hit 100% of DNA understanding, and 100% usage of our brains as compared to the 10% maximum that the uber geniuses like Stephen Hawkins use. Just imagine the amazing blogs we could write! Or, with that much intelligence and control over our brains and bodies, maybe we would go back to living nomadic existences.

 

I thought this was about making money blogging?

Me too! Well, it’s also about not falling for work from home job offers and other similarly stupid scams and the poor souls who fall for them, because if you have to pay for work then you’re the customer victim.

 

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

Actually, it’s about gaining followers. And, not just any followers, but those who will read your posts daily, and buy things from the advertisers on your posts. That involves finding a niche follower who, on average, have disposable income for spontaneous purchases.

For people who like to make money off of people who are senile, grieving or otherwise susceptible, you just maybe should be nicer to people with things like this in existence…

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/285339/detail/  (it’s a safe video, checked with Kaspersky, Windows and Norton).

 

Just how long am I going to have to wait?

Some people stop blogging after a few months of not gaining any social stature within the 10,000+ hit club…

Line up! get it?

 

If they’d just stuck with their goals, you never know. It takes just one great blog post to go viral in order for a blogger to taste the sweet nectar of the advertiser email.

 

“Hey, you. You. Yes, you! Wanna make $25?”.

You may get enticed by cheap offers, but if you hold out, or make an intelligent enough of a counter offer, you should be able to make at least $250 per month for a viral blog post, per advertiser. The different advertisers will have different rules and rates, but the average viral blog will have at least 4 – 8 advertisements. If just one reader in every 1,000 makes a purchase at the advertiser’s offered site. Oops! A catch.

 

There’s a sucker born every minute

Fish on!

As P. T. Barnum infamously stated, there’s a sucker born every minute. That’s what email scammers are counting on. The same idiom goes for “companies” that market “real jobs working from home”. Scams. You’re the fish, they the fisherman. Don’t nibble, you might get hooked.

 

How do I get ahead?

If you are to taste the nectar of success, it takes hard work,. You have to try, repeatedly, to make a successful blog series that catches people’s eyes. Think of the 32-yr old virgin male still living in his mom’s basement. He’s had a good life, but wants to settle down. When he gets lucky, he brings the girl home to meet ma. First mistake. It’s like selling out to the first advertiser who offers you a pittance, or a chance at earning from their revenue sharing programs.

 

If you try hard enough, you just might fail miserably!

Try and try again

Just as that 32-yr old will eventually figure out how to seal the deal with a real, non-inflatable girl by taking her to the best hotel in town, getting the penthouse suite and the best champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and aromatic bubble bath, the average blogger will eventually figure out how to make money. They just need to learn from their mistakes, and take each in stride as they come.

Now, the problem happens to be the amount of money that you can expect to make (not much).  If you have a day job, don’t give it up the same day you get accepted into the AdSense revenue program.

 

Did you say hard work?

Aw, come on! I thought I could write 5 to 10 blogs and attain cult-like status! My mom even said that I was special!

If you went to school on a little bus, there’s a chance you could be using a lot less than 7% of your brain, an IQ under 120 (you get 80 just for standing upright!).  If you run some of those stupid scams that keep showing up in my inbox, you probably still do ride on the same bus, and pick on all of the 7 and 8 year old kids who are 2 grades ahead of you in middle school. And, you may be getting something more viral than a scam hoax email in return!

You silly scammer, you!

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The Draft is Broken

In professional sports, the top draft pick is chosen by the last-place team from the previous season, as they are in the NFL (national football league). Now, think about how this is justice for the player who  gets picked first overall. They are chosen as the best of that year’s crop of eligible players to enter the league and save a team from mediocrity. They are heaped with multimillion dollar contracts that are front-end heavy, meaning that the kid gets a lot of money for simply signing on the dotted line, and then they’ll worry about playing the game later. The money’s great, but the player is usually relegated to a bottom-feeding team, one that possibly went winless the previous season, and could very well be a non-playoff team for the first 5 years of that player’s career.

Makes more than your average company does.

When the lowest ranked team gets the first pick in the incoming player draft, the 2nd worst team gets the 2nd best player and so on, there is something wrong. Teams should be awarded for finishing the year at the top, aside from home-field advantage in the playoffs. And, more importantly, the players being drafted should be awarded for having such stellar college seasons. They should get, at a minimum, the 2nd overall pick in the draft. In my scenario, the last placed team would pick 1st, the 1st placed team would pick 2nd, the 2nd last team 3rd, the 2nd place team 4th and so on. Alternate with the lower ranked teams and the higher ranked teams, and the teams that make the draft picks and, most importantly, the draft picks themselves have a chance at something special.

This is a lottery draft in the sense that the player taken first overall is guaranteed to be a multimillionaire within a few weeks of pulling his new team’s jersey over his head on draft day. The chance of that player then hoisting the Super Bowl trophy the next year is slim to none, and that should be changed. Or, even better yet, the top-5 players in the draft could be declared free agents, able to sign with the highest bidder. That would guarantee huge contracts for these young kids who could then just play around, have fun and collect their 50 to 75 Million bucks (yes, that’s in good old Yankee greenbacks!), invest some and retire at the ripe old age of 21. A 25% surcharge would be added to the contract signed, and that money given to the charity of the year. Or, me.

Breaking the bank to buy a player who hasn't yet played.

In the business world, being drafted first overall would be like hiring Stephen King while he was in high school to a lifetime contract as your ghost writer for your horror genre writing career. Or, you could end up with Ryan Leaf, a young quarterback who was stellar in college ball and was picked second overall in 1998 by the San Diego Chargers. After heaping millions and millions of dollars up his wazoo, Ryan played in 21 games over 3 seasons for the Chargers, where he threw 14 touchdowns and 36 interceptions (for those unsure, these are very, very bad numbers). He can now be seen plying the waters in some tropical paradise whining that he’s down to his last 10 million; “Thanks, San Diego, and a special shout-out to my college coach and the players there who made me look oh so very much better than I ever was.”

But the way it is now, it’s a lot more like the best team being stuck with Paris Hilton for a multimillion dollar game of Jeopardy! and the worst team getting Stephen Hawking. However, the teams are taking chances on the health of the players staying the same or improving, and them not being killed or maimed before they can take to the field for their first NFL game.

It’s a lottery draft. The lottery is fixed and needs breaking. The way it is now, the teams that are out of the playoffs can play the rest of the season safely, limiting injuries and just having fun, hoping for that first overall draft pick. Drafted players should be limited to $1 million per year for the first 2 seasons, and then be able to break the owner’s safe.

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