The Ramblings of a Somewhat Unstable Mind

Posts tagged ‘United States’

Word of the Day: September 07, 2012

 

BLEAP

 

(BleeeP)

 

 

With free speech now no more than a memory, bloggers have to find phuqing inventive ways to get around the opening-keesters who work for the censorship bureau!

1)  The acronym for the ever-helpful group of non-greedy and selflessly giving bloggers and writers, “Bloggers Lending Expert Advice for Provision”. This is the nicest group in the bloggosphere, nary asking for anything whilst giving in-depth tips and even performing formatting and other tricky tasks for writers and bloggers alike.

2)  The sound made by censors as they strike out innocent enough comments, phrases and/or words contained within otherwise well-written blog posts. Since swear words are not allowed, bloggers must write “That bleaping bleaper of a bleap!”.

 

*NOTE;  HELP!!!  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A FAKE, BLOGGING-RELATED WORD OR ACRONYM THAT YOU LIKE, DESPISE OR USE, PLEASE LEAVE IT AS A COMMENT, ALONG WITH A SHORT DEFINITION AND THE PHONETICS. YOUR SUGGESTIONS WILL BE AN UPCOMING DAILY FEATURE!

 

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Word of the Day: August 04, 2012

 

BBI

 

 

(Bee-Bee-Eye)

Not known as the most discreet spy agency, the BBI is well known for the short life span of it`s agents.

 

 

 

1)  An acronym standing for the arms-length quasi-military branch of American Intelligence, the “Blogger`s Bureau of Investigation”. Unfortunately, only one BBI operative, Doreen Martel, has been able to go without being identified as a spy (Oops! Sorry, Doreen! Time to run and hide!)

 

 

*NOTE;  HELP!!!  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A FAKE, BLOGGING-RELATED WORD OR ACRONYM THAT YOU LIKE, DESPISE OR USE, PLEASE LEAVE IT AS A COMMENT, ALONG WITH A SHORT DEFINITION AND THE PHONETICS. YOUR SUGGESTIONS WILL BE AN UPCOMING DAILY FEATURE!

 

CONTENTS OF THIS BLOG ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. WORDS MAY APPEAR CLOSER IN A MIRROR THAN  THEY ACTUALLY ARE. 9 OUT OF 10 LIBRARIANS  ARE MOUSEY INTROVERTS, 19 TIMES OUT OF 20, YET STILL MANAGE TO APPEAR TO BE SEXY. THIS SITE IS NOT ENDORSED BY THE SPCB (THE SECOND SPC (SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY) IN THE PHONE BOOK – THE SPCA (ANIMALS) HOGGED THE FIRST SPOT ON ME AGAIN! THOSE BRUTES!) THE APATHETIC AND APPALLINGLY APROPOS “SOCIETY OF THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO BLOGGERS” (DONATIONS ACCEPTED AND SUGGESTED).  9 OUT OF 10 DOCTORS ARE APPARENTLY ON THE TAKE, SO WHEN YOU LOOK FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, MAKE SURE YOU ASK AT LEAST 20 DOCTORS…

 

Word of the Day: August 02, 2012

Blogapalooza

 

 

(Blah-Gah-Paa-Loo-Zah)

 

Not known for meticulous grammar, the new floats entered in this year’s events were actually meant for Blogzilla

 

1)  An annual festival where all things blog and blogger related are celebrated with song, dance, poetry and lots and lots of booze (Canadian beer, eh!).

 

 

 

*NOTE;  HELP!!!  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A FAKE, BLOGGING-RELATED WORD OR ACRONYM THAT YOU LIKE, DESPISE OR USE, PLEASE LEAVE IT AS A COMMENT, ALONG WITH A SHORT DEFINITION AND THE PHONETICS. YOUR SUGGESTIONS WILL BE AN UPCOMING DAILY FEATURE!

 

CONTENTS OF THIS BLOG ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. WORDS MAY APPEAR CLOSER IN A MIRROR THAN  THEY ACTUALLY ARE. 9 OUT OF 10 LIBRARIANS  ARE MOUSEY INTROVERTS, 19 TIMES OUT OF 20, YET STILL MANAGE TO APPEAR TO BE SEXY. THIS SITE IS NOT ENDORSED BY THE SPCB (THE SECOND SPC (SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY) IN THE PHONE BOOK – THE SPCA (ANIMALS) HOGGED THE FIRST SPOT ON ME AGAIN! THOSE BRUTES!) THE APATHETIC AND APPALLINGLY APROPOS “SOCIETY OF THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO BLOGGERS” (DONATIONS ACCEPTED AND SUGGESTED).  9 OUT OF 10 DOCTORS ARE APPARENTLY ON THE TAKE, SO WHEN YOU LOOK FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, MAKE SURE YOU ASK AT LEAST 20 DOCTORS…

Word of the Day: June 24, 2012

Blogvert

 

 

(BlahG-VerT)

While most people have nightmares about being naked in public, Danny had a recurring nightmare where he flashed women, but had his shorts on.

 

 

1)  A person who blogs extensively about sexual matters. Most are virgin males who live in their parent’s basements, and send those silly letters to Penthouse magazine that start with “I never thought this would happen to me, but….”

 

2)  Someone who is converted from writing articles for article mills for pennies a month to writing blog posts for twice as much.

 

 

*NOTE;  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A FAKE, BLOGGING-RELATED WORD OR ACRONYM THAT YOU LIKE, DESPISE OR USE, PLEASE LEAVE IT AS A COMMENT, ALONG WITH A SHORT DEFINITION AND THE PHONETICS. YOUR SUGGESTIONS MAY WELL BE AN UPCOMING DAILY FEATURE!

 

SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. WORDS MAY APPEAR CLOSER IN A MIRROR THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE. 9 OUT OF 10 LIBRARIANS  ARE MOUSEY INTROVERTS, 19 TIMES OUT OF 20, YET STILL MANAGE TO APPEAR TO BE SEXY. THIS SITE IS NOT ENDORSED BY THE SPCB (THE SECOND SPC (SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY) IN THE PHONE BOOK – THE SPCA (ANIMALS) HOGGED THE FIRST SPOT ON ME AGAIN! THOSE BRUTES!) THE APATHETIC AND APPALLINGLY APROPOS “SOCIETY OF THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO BLOGGERS” (DONATIONS ACCEPTED AND SUGGESTED).

How Sweet It Is?

Is Short Sweet?

(The scourge of the short post)

The new trend in Blogging seems to be to post as little information as possible. Some bloggers are rolling out at least 10 or more posts a day, with no more than a few sentences per post, expecting their legion of followers to keep up with them, view and comment on their tiny little posts.

Many bloggers are also posting just one to three pictures, with no text, and expect their readers to keep coming back! Now, if the pictures are of amazing places or astounding events, then maybe they can pull it off… but when the pictures are of themselves, or their pets, or their cities or other mundane objects nobody else really gives a rats ass about, well then maybe they should expect to lose about 90% of their followers, if they had any to begin with.

I say, enough is enough!  I really am not interested in how you did your nails tonight!  Maybe if you had bought some sex neglige or something and wanted to show that off at the same time, but just the nails? That’s an all-around no! However, i did notice one such blog with over 20 POSITIVE comments (and no negative ones!) as well as over 100 page views! Okay, so in revenue terms that’s about $0.20 – but still, that’s still telling the poster poser that what they are doing is great! Stop it! Stop it now!

Another 27 words, another $10,000 !!! Woohoo, who said you had to write good, intelligent posts?

Either tell me a story, make me laugh or cry, or show me some amazing pictures that will blow my mind. I don’t want to go through the trouble and time to open a bunch of posts just to see a picture or two of your cats lying on the couch, your boyfriend in bed or your kids with food on their faces; it’s cute to you, but not to me!

If you want to write a short post now and then, with apologies to your fans for not beguiling them with your usual length and witty banter, then the occasional shorty can be acceptable. But too many bloggers are now putting out posts that are shorter than a newswire feed about the newest troubles in Afghanistan, or Israel’s intent to bomb Iran back to the days of Barney and Fred.

The major cities in North America are putting up with a bunch of “Occupy” protests – and we actually need a new one, like “De-Occupy Crappy Blogs”; maybe more people would come out for that one, instead of just the average heroin junkie, homeless people and philosophy grads who couldn’t find jobs after accumulating a couple of hundred thousand dollars in student loans.

So, it’s time to roll out the newest anti-something campaign, and this one is called;

Spas

Also known as – “Short Posts Are Stupid!”

But, spas?  As in more than one Spa? Really?

No, Spas as in Short Posts Are Stupid, stupid! (think spazz but spoken by Snooki!)

Okay, now I will admit to putting out a couple of really short posts, one comes to mind where the title was “Do You Want To Make $10,000 a Day Writing Online”, and the content was, simply, “Me too!”… but that was a joke, and taken as such by my legion of followers. Well, except for one, who let me know in no uncertain terms that what i was doing was stupid beyond comprehension…

Legion? My legion? What am i, a vampire? Self-anointed deity?

Yes, my legion! All 43 of them!

So, with the scourge of short posts in mind…

See you tomorrow!

Online Casino Emails: Scam or Legitimate?

Not all online casinos are fraudulent

No, but most of them are.

How can you tell which are worth visiting and which to avoid?

Well, most, if not all of the legitimate casinos will spend the extra few dollars to have someone write their advertisements for them. They even give out free spins, to try and entice the player in. If the player wins off of their free spins, that amount is deposited into their “Real Money” account for them to play with. (no, you can’t withdraw that, though. You have to play out at least 200 to 500 times the amount of your gift)

They don't call them "one-armed bandits" because of their looks!

These lines are from an email I recently received from “Global Affiliates”, the parent company for “Casino.com” (you really have to love them for their naming, though!)

After refreshing our site we wants you to be our guest and take part at the excitement!

Only first time members on Cc gets one of the generous welcome bonus in the industry!

They make money by having machines that take into account the amount of your wager; the higher you wager, the lower your chances of winning become.  As well, they will try to get as much out of you as possible at the beginning, knowing all too well that there is a 95% chance that you won’t be coming back – only the winners really return, or those who think that because they kept getting oh-so-close on so many spins, they’re right on the cusp of winning big. (yes, these people exist, it’s why there are so many online casinos)

Make a deposit, mister!

This has got to be an all-time low even for the online casino industry. We all get them, those ads in our junk-mail boxes that proclaim that we’ve been selected out of everybody who has an Internet connection for a whopping $2400 sign up bonus! (mind you, you do have to deposit about $800 to get that, and play out over $240,000 worth of wagers to cash out even a single penny). We probably came in third, with the first-place winner getting some phenomenal prize, but our 3rd place win is still awesome!

How can you tell an online casino is a sham by their ads or emails?

They claim that if you sign up with them, this is you!

Okay, if you’re going to sell an online casino, which should generate hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars a week in pure profits, the least you could do is have your ads written with proper grammar!

Sure, some people do win jackpots, that’s the nature of gambling; you win some, you lose most. In order to win big, you have to bet really big, and that is a much rarer gambler. However, it is the right move, because winning a 50 to 1 spin on a $2 bet only gets you $100, but change that to a $200 bet, and now you’re getting $10,000…

From their email to me…

Don’t miss your chance to bring home some extra-funds!
This welcome package is available for limited time only.
Don’t waste your time and sign up today.

Now, catch that last line!  “Don’t waste your time and sign up today“.  Now, that’s truth in advertising! It’s like saying “If you gamble here, we’ve got some bridges for sale too”.  They are literally telling you that signing up with them is a complete waste of your time.

Even though this casino was not visited, nor tried out (well, duh! Since I didn’t visit it, didja think I had played there somehow? Well, didja?) this is most definitely an online casino to avoid like the plague.  There are some online casinos that offer great odds at winning, and take only minor percentages, knowing that a small amount over a long time is better than a one-time infusion of a few hundred dollars.

Might not approve of online casinos

However, there are also casinos like “Casino.com” which are prime examples of why the USA regulated online casinos out of the country, and almost all major credit cards refuse their customer’s use of their credit cards at the sites, even though they accept the cards.

Come back for more! No charges, no biased reviews!

There will be more posts about online casinos, which to avoid and which to at least have a look at (and some that you absolutely must at least try!).  If you have an online casino that you’re curious, or furious about or with, leave a comment and it will be investigated thoroughly.

Word of the Day: January 11, 2012

Blogosphere

(blah-goss-pfh-here)

1) The part of the Internet based on and related to blogging.

2) Where a conceited blogger believes that they live.

The next upgrade to keyboards

*note: Although the term “Blogosphere” is in use. it is still as of yet to be recognized as a real word. With enough usage, the idiots editors at major dictionaries just may include it in one of their upcoming, yearly revisions.

If you would like to see one of your favorite, fake, blogging-related words or acronyms used in this daily post, please leave them as a comment, including the phonetics of the word and a brief definition.

 

Subject to change without notice. Words may appear closer in a mirror than they actually are. 9 out of 10 librarians are mousey introverts, 19 times out of 20, yet still manage to be sexy. This site is not endorsed by the SPCB (the second SPC (society of the prevention of Cruelty to Animals being the first one), the apathetic “Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Bloggers”.

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